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Leadership doesn’t begin and end with performance metrics. It begins with presence. It’s in the tone we set—through words, behavior, and even silence.
How we respond to the dynamics around us shapes team culture. It influences trust, engagement, and performance.
Microaggressions may seem subtle, but their cumulative impact breaks down psychological safety, trust, and inclusion. Left unaddressed, they create environments where people feel unseen, disengaged, and undervalued—undermining both culture and organizational results.
As Adam Grant reminds us, “The most important reason to treat people well is not what you’ll get in return. It’s who you hope to become.”
The heart of leadership isn’t just about strategy or outcomes—it’s about who we become along the way.
Ask yourself: Who do I want to become as a leader?
A leader known for accountability, integrity, and positive influence? Someone who navigates complexity with both clarity and compassion? A leader who drives results through engagement, support, development, and trust?
If so, alignment matters. Your response to harmful behaviors—especially subtle ones like microaggressions—sets the precedent for what your team will tolerate, expect, and even emulate.
Even in environments where open conversations about DEI are discouraged, how you show up still matters. Your presence, your choices, and your quiet leadership can still create powerful ripple effects.
Let your ideal leader take the wheel. Lead with strategy and heart.
Years ago, we wrote an article about letting “future you” make your decisions. Now, we’re asking you to let your “ideal leader self” steer the ship. When you make decisions from that place, you become the leader you want to be.
What are Microaggressions?
What is a microaggression? Microaggressions are subtle, often unintentional actions or comments that express bias toward marginalized individuals or groups. They may seem minor in isolation, but their cumulative impact is deeply harmful.
Microaggressions can be verbal, behavioral, or systemic, and may target race, gender, sexual orientation, religion, disability, or any marginalized identity.
The term was coined over 50 years ago by psychiatrist Chester M. Pierce, and while the language is now more widely used, the behaviors are not new.
Examples of Microaggressions Include:
- Asking someone where they’re “really” from
- Assuming female employees want to plan social events
- Joking about someone’s language skills or background
- Calling women “girls” or “young lady” in professional settings
- Expressing surprise at someone’s competence in tech or math
- Assuming heterosexuality
- Assuming everyone observes certain religious holidays
- Making light of OCD or other conditions
- Denying someone’s lived experience
- How responsibilities are assigned
- Asking a new mom, “Are you sure you’re ready to come back full-time?”
- Repeatedly giving “note-taking” roles to women in meetings
- Complimenting someone’s English when they were born and raised locally
- Dismissing an idea until someone else (often a man or white colleague) repeats it
- Expecting LGBTQ+ colleagues to educate others about inclusion
- Describing someone as “articulate” with surprise
- Saying “You’re so exotic-looking” as a compliment
- Assuming neurodivergent colleagues should just “toughen up” in high-pressure settings
And much more. Microaggressions are often subtle and nuanced, but easily recognizable to the people they target – and easy to learn to recognize by others.
Context Is Key
Not every instance is automatically a microaggression. Saying “Your parents must be proud” might be kind in one context, and stereotypical in another. Interrupting a colleague is generally disrespectful—but repeatedly doing so to women or people of color can signal something deeper.
The point is this: impact matters more than intent. And as leaders, we must be tuned in to that impact if we want to create an environment of respect and belonging, where people are empowered to bring their absolute best to the work that they do.
Intent vs. Impact – Holding Both as a Heart-Centered Leader
As leaders, we often hear: “You’re not responsible for someone’s reaction. You’re responsible for your intention.”
That’s true — especially in personal growth work. When you’re setting boundaries, stepping into authenticity, or speaking your truth, that reminder is grounding and liberating.
But in leadership — particularly when power dynamics are involved — impact matters more than intent.
A well-meaning leader can still cause harm. And if we focus only on our good intentions, we risk ignoring the lived experiences of others.
Heart-centered leadership means holding both. It’s leading with clear, compassionate intent and staying open to feedback about your impact. When there’s a gap between the two, courageous leaders don’t defend — they reflect, take accountability, and realign.
That’s what builds trust. That’s what builds culture.
Assignments as Microaggressions
Responsibility assignments are a subtle but powerful way bias shows up in the workplace. They may be unintentional – but their impact is anything but “micro.”
Leaders may believe they’re simply choosing the “right person for the job,” but high-visibility assignments often go to those who look the part, based on unconscious bias—not capability.
This pattern has two serious consequences:
- High-potential employees from marginalized groups are denied growth and recognition.
- Organizations lose out on the full talent and innovation of their teams.
The unintentional nature of this issue is rooted in privilege—leaders don’t see the pattern because they’ve never had to think about it. Awareness is the first step in breaking that cycle.
Recognizing Microaggressions
Microaggressions can be subtle, coded, or even invisible to anyone but the person being targeted—a kind of “dog-whistle” communication that flies under the radar unless you know what to look for.
That’s why leadership discernment is essential. This goes beyond knowledge or intuition—it’s the ability to perceive what others might miss, and to act with empathy and clarity.
Here are three ways to sharpen your leadership discernment:
- Keep Learning
Stay informed about how microaggressions show up in different contexts—language, decisions, systems, and so on.
- Develop Deeper Awareness
Examine your own patterns. Be curious, not defensive. Ask: Who consistently gets interrupted? Overlooked?
- Believe People
When someone shares their experience, listen. You don’t need to fully understand it to validate it.
Strong leadership isn’t about having all the answers—it’s about being willing to see, learn, and evolve.
How Do Microaggressions Impact Diversity, Inclusion, and Performance?
Microaggressions may seem small in the moment—but they carry a significant cost.
For those on the receiving end, the emotional and mental toll of constantly navigating or anticipating microaggressions is real. Over time, this erodes trust, motivation, and a sense of belonging.
As a leader, your mandate is to build a culture where every employee can bring their full potential forward. Microaggressions stand directly in the way of that.
Meanwhile, those who regularly engage in microaggressions—whether out of ignorance or unwillingness to grow—undermine collaboration, innovation, and psychological safety.
The Business Impact Is Clear:
- Retention and Engagement Suffer
- Employees in inclusive environments are 12% more productive, 19% more likely to stay, and 57% more collaborative (ADP).
- Top performers and high-potential employees will leave if they don’t feel included or supported.
- Others may stay, but disengage—leading to lower performance and lost potential.
- Organizational Performance Declines
In short: If people don’t feel safe, seen, and valued, they won’t stay—or perform at their best. Addressing microaggressions isn’t just a cultural imperative. It’s a strategic one.
What Can I Do if I Witness a Microaggression at Work?
As a leader, your responsibility is twofold:
- Support the Target
- Educate yourself on the impact of microaggressions before engaging.
- Validate their experience — acknowledge the harm, even if it was unintentional.
- Listen deeply – without minimizing, defending, or excusing.
- Share your plans to improve the environment (without revealing confidential details) and invite their feedback.
- Address the Person Who Delivered It
- Focus on impact, not intent. Intent can distract from accountability and derail progress.
- Center the conversation on the behavior’s effect and your expectations for inclusivity.
- This creates room for growth if the act was unintentional, and maintains control if it was deliberate.
- Insist on an apology.
Your goal isn’t to dig into motives, but to reinforce a culture of safety, respect, and learning. Beyond that, your goal is to position yourself as a safe, trustworthy leader for people who feel targeted, and for those who’ve made a mistake and want to grow.
How Should I Respond if I Realize I Have Committed a Microaggression?
Go back to the question: What kind of leader do I want to be?
Responding to microaggressions – especially if they’ve come from you – is part of this journey.
Do you want to be a leader who models accountability, humility, and resilience? Who understands the impact of strategy + heart?
If so, this is a moment to lead by example.
- Acknowledge and Apologize
Admitting harm takes strength—and it’s rare. A recent survey showed that 73% of people who experience microaggressions never receive an apology. Be the exception.
A direct approach might sound like:
“I’ve realized what I said was wrong. While it wasn’t my intent, I take full responsibility. I’m sorry.”
Be clear, sincere, and focused on impact over intent.
- Commit to Learning and Changing
Ask yourself: What needs to shift? What don’t I yet understand?
Seek out resources—coaches, HR, books, podcasts—and don’t rely on those harmed to educate you. Invite new perspectives. Broaden your circle. Challenge your assumptions. - Reflect on Your Influence
Your behavior shapes culture. Acknowledge your missteps openly, and invite feedback from others.
This transparency builds trust and creates a culture where learning and growth are safe and expected.
Strong leadership isn’t about never making mistakes—it’s about how you respond when they happen. That’s a big part of having positive influence as a leader.
Strategies for Preventing Microaggressions in the Workplace
The best way to address microaggressions is to prevent them. That starts with culture, and culture starts with leadership.
Here are five key strategies to help you lead a more inclusive, psychologically safe workplace:
- Be Strategic With Assignments
Create a clear, inclusive strategy for how responsibilities are assigned. Factor in visibility, development opportunities, and cross-functional collaboration. Work with HR or DEI professionals to ensure your approach supports equity and growth. - Examine Your Biases
Your decisions shape employee experience. Promotions, reviews, development opportunities, social dynamics—these are all influenced by unconscious bias unless addressed directly. Do the inner work. Get honest. Get better. - Prioritize Training
If you can influence company-wide policy, advocate for microaggression training. If not, start within your own team. Awareness leads to accountability—and progress. - Address Incidents Immediately
Don’t wait for a pattern. One incident is enough to erode trust. Address issues early to send a clear message: this isn’t how we treat people here. - Lead With Trust
Be the kind of leader people can count on. Avoid favoritism. Regulate your emotions. Admit your mistakes. Build real relationships. Trust is the foundation of every healthy, high-performing team
What if You’re Not Allowed to Talk About Microaggressions?
Ideally, leadership means speaking your truth, even when it’s hard. At CEO of Your Life, it’s one of our core beliefs.
But, in some environments, addressing microaggressions directly may be prohibited or unsupported—especially where DEI efforts have been dismantled.
As a leader, you still have a responsibility to protect your people and foster respect, even if you need to be strategic about how you do it.
Use Subtle but Effective Language
If you can’t call it out explicitly, redirect the behavior with phrases like:
- “Let’s keep our focus on constructive conversations.”
- “Could you explain what you meant by that?”
Sometimes, asking someone to elaborate on what they said can act as a silent reprimand, and stop the behavior from repeating. - “We hold a high standard for respectful communication.”
These responses defuse the moment, reinforce expectations, and create a boundary, without triggering policy pushback.
Support Targets Privately
Check in with team members who may be impacted. Validate their experience and strive to be on their side as much as possible within your constraints.
Advocate Behind the Scenes
Continue working toward a healthier culture where accountability and inclusion aren’t off-limits. Quiet leadership can still drive meaningful change.
Lead for the Culture You Want to Build
Microaggressions aren’t just personal missteps—they’re leadership signals. Every time we ignore, excuse, or minimize them, we send a message about what’s acceptable in our workplace culture.
As a leader, your influence is profound. You set the tone through your choices, your silence, your accountability, and your vision for what kind of organization you want to build.
So ask yourself:
- Am I leading with both strategy and heart?
- Am I modeling the integrity I want others to follow?
- Am I creating an environment where everyone feels safe, valued, and empowered to thrive?
If the answer to any of these is uncertain, that’s not a flaw—it’s an invitation. A call to lean in, get curious, and keep growing.
Be the kind of leader who doesn’t just respond to microaggressions—be the one who helps eliminate them.
The culture you lead is the legacy you leave. Make it one of inclusion, excellence, and courage.
If you’re serious about your legacy as a leader, let’s talk. Connect With Us / Explore Speaking & Workshops.
