Loving Leadership Isn’t Soft—It’s Essential

IF you close your eyes and visualize “peak performance,” what comes to mind?

A Tour de France champion training in a wind tunnel, with wires monitoring the disciplined, finely tuned athlete? A highly efficient, symbiotic team delivering breakthrough innovation in record time? A climber overcoming every adversity to summit Mount Everest?

How many leadership posters hang on office walls, calling us forward for peak performance, perfection, execution, and winning through focus, discipline, and hard work? As if that’s where the magic lives.

Yes, determination and drive matter, and excellent execution leads to achievement. But peak performance is fueled by brilliant minds powered by beating hearts—where teammates work with purpose, passion, and free will, chasing outcomes they deeply desire alongside people they care about and feel appreciated by in return. United in mission and powered by purpose, these individuals and teams become larger than themselves and tap into an essential energy called meaning.

Those of us lucky enough to join these teams—with loving leaders who care—love our work and enjoy showing up at the office. It’s more than a paycheck or benefits package; satisfaction, joy, and connection make Mondays a pleasure.

Any leader or manager can set goals and work plans. But loving leaders bring intention and attention to how the work is done in five critical ways:

They know their teams: It’s one thing to know a person’s skills, experience, and education and to match talent with the work to be done. It’s an entirely different thing to understand people’s motivations, ambitions, challenges, and dreams.
Loving leaders connect with teammates through genuine care, curiosity, and concern for their performance and well-being. Monthly 1:1 time is highly effective for maintaining consistent engagement in critical programs—but it will also help you know your people and see how they think, analyze, and execute.
They curate microclimates: Your company may have a long-standing culture, but each division, department, and project lead has the power to shape the daily working climate.
The more diverse the team, the more styles and behaviors are present—especially when pressure rises or problems appear. Make time for proactive and retrospective check-ins with both teams and individuals. They protect psychological safety and trap division or dissent before it boils over or breaks out into chaos.
They help teams fail fast: High-performing teams pursuing change and breakthroughs are bound to face unpleasant surprises and failures along the way. Yet when the pursuit of ambitious goals is transparent and supported, problems aren’t setbacks; they become learning opportunities and avenues to pivot and persevere.
Expensive and catastrophic failures that waste time and money start with fear and anxiety about sharing bad news. With loving leadership, teammates are quick to turn uh-oh moments into a-ha outcomes, with everyone jumping in to shape solutions.
They treasure trust: Stuff happens in business, relationships, and life. Trust ebbs and flows with colleagues, customers, suppliers, and collaborators. We’re all human, after all.
Loving leaders value integrity and take action to maintain and restore trust, not to eliminate or avoid conflict. When teams can identify what’s eating away at trust—addressing the pain and the cause—trust grows, and relationships strengthen. Customers and colleagues become more connected and loyal when issues are managed quickly—and managed well.
They catch people doing a great job: Most people appreciate being recognized for their efforts, contributions, and strengths. Loving leaders capture these moments and acknowledge momentum, reinforce values, celebrate successes, and reward hitting once-out-of-reach milestones.
Performance reviews and bonus plans are great, but people remember thoughtful notes, unexpected gratitude, and reinforcement when they’ve taken risks and chances. Being open and vulnerable when times are tough should be applauded. Those who have the courage to challenge the path are rarely alone.

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Kelly Hall is a leadership expert and business strategist who helps individuals and organizations move from surviving to thriving. As the founder of Live L.A.R.G.E., she brings 30 years of experience leading diverse teams and transforming struggling businesses into high-performing, self-directing organizations. She is the author of Love Works: Transforming the Workplace with Purpose and Authenticity. Find her at kellywinegardenhall.com

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