Cultivating your capacity to connect is a key tenet of mindful leadership training. In Mindful Leadership workshops and retreats, we learn to connect with ourselves, those around us, and the ‘big picture’. And in a world filled with distractions and chaos, this is not an easy practice. Connecting with ourselves demands that we take some time to reflect on questions like: ‘how do I want to be in the world (not just what do I want to do?)? and what personal principles guide my life? It is from this place of deep understanding of ourselves that we become prepared to meet the craziness of today with focus and compassion.
When we begin to explore connecting with others, we learn to become aware of our own biases and filters. How am I approaching this person? Have I already decided what I will hear and why it is not right? In order for us to shift away from this reactivity, we learn to notice these thoughts and emotions as they arise. This enables us to approach others, especially those with whom we disagree, with an intention be curious and open-hearted.
One part of mindful leadership training that is especially helpful in connecting with others is the deep listening capacity we cultivate in mindful communication. Can you notice when your mind is in a reactive or defensive mode as you listen to others? Can you set those thoughts aside for now and return to an open-minded and open-hearted approach to deep listening? We also learn that it can be helpful to back away from the point of friction, and look for a related point of common ground to explore. For example, we both agree that it is our responsibility to ensure that children have good nutrition. Now, can we explore various ways to get that done in our community? Taking a broader perspective can sometimes create a stable base from which to continue the conversation.
The final piece of connecting is your ability to connect to the ‘big picture’. What are the ripple effects of any communication? Is it moving toward an agreed upon solution? Is it moving toward greater mutual respect? It only takes a small step to breakthrough the divisiveness that dissolves connections and makes it very difficult to get things done. Can you find a small step that moves toward connection? Once again it may be very helpful to take a bigger perspective by focusing on a general, agreed upon positive outcome. Make truth the object of attention as you work-check and recheck together.
