Advocating for your worth with clarity, calm, and confidence
Know your worth, then ask for it with grace. That’s leadership.
Asking for a raise can be nerve-wracking—even at the executive level. From sleepless nights to sweaty palms, the anticipation often feels worse than the conversation itself.
And yet, it can be more than just a request for higher pay. It’s a chance to practice strategic communication, advocate for your worth, and build deeper alignment with your organization’s goals.
In this article, we’ll walk through:
- Why asking for a raise matters
- The power of non-salary compensation
- How to time your request
- How to approach the conversation like a leader
- What to do if the answer is no
Individual circumstances will always differ, but there are some common and more general reasons asking for a salary increase can be important:
- It Signals You Know Your Worth
As a leader, advocating for yourself is just as important as advocating for your team. Asking for a raise communicates that you understand the values that you bring, and that you take your responsibilities seriously.
- It Hones Your Negotiation Skills
Even if the outcome isn’t what you hoped, going through the process hones your skills in navigating high-stakes conversations with clarity and poise.
- It Creates Strategic Visibility
Raises are often tied to performance reviews, but they don’t have to be. Proactively initiating these conversations increases your visibility, raises helpful feedback, and aligns your contributions with organizational priorities.
- It Addresses Role Creep
Executive roles evolve quickly. If your responsibilities have grown significantly, it’s important to adapt your compensation before the “new normal” becomes standard without that critical discussion.
A raise doesn’t always come in the form of salary. Depending on your organization, non-salary options might even be more realistic, and just as valuable (if not more so) to you.
Examples of non-salary compensation include:
- Bonuses or equity (stock options, RSUs, performance shares)
- Enhanced retirement contributions or financial planning services
- Increased health benefits, travel perks, or a company car
- Education funding or home office allowances
- Flexible work arrangements or additional paid leave
Non-salary benefits can often reduce your personal expenses, enhance quality of life, or build long-term wealth. They’re also often more flexible for the organization to approve.
Why might these benefits be more feasible? Examples of reasons include:
- May cost the company less or have a tax advantage
- Can be a workaround for pay bands or compensation ranges
- Are often structured to encourage long-term loyalty and retention
When is a good time to ask for an increase? There are two factors to consider: strong career moments and favorable company timing.
Strong career moments:
- You’ve taken on new responsibilities
- You’ve hit a key milestone or delivered a major outcome
- You’ve earned a new credential or degree
- Market data shows you’re underpaid
Favorable company timing:
- Before budgets are finalized
- During financial upswings
- Around performance review season
One of our clients had a standout year. She surpassed every objective set for her — leading with vision, hitting targets, and elevating her team in the process.
But, when compensation decisions were announced, she received only a standard increase. The same as everyone else.
She felt disappointed and hurt. Her instinct was to stay quiet. Bonuses and raises had already been finalized. What difference would it make now?
But, in our coaching conversation, we reminded her: “Speaking your truth isn’t always about the outcome. It’s about honoring yourself. You’ll feel better knowing you said what needed to be said.”
So she did. Calmly and clearly, she requested a meeting and shared how she felt, not from entitlement, but from alignment. She named her contributions, her growth, and her desire to understand what it would take to be recognized more fully.
And here’s what happened: Her leader listened. The decision-makers reviewed her file again and agreed. She received an additional raise and a bigger bonus. Most importantly, they had a meaningful conversation about what success would look like in the coming year, setting the stage for more intentional recognition going forward.
Sometimes, even when it feels like the moment has passed, it’s still the right time to speak up. Because advocating for your worth isn’t just about money. It’s about trust, alignment, and owning your impact.
- Make it about value, not entitlement
Link your request directly to results. Include your achievements and the performance of your team. - Recognize organizational context
Time your ask with business priorities in mind. This shows that you’re strategic, not self-serving.
- Decide your best alternative if things don’t go as planned
In the world of corporate negotiations, this is often called your “BATNA” (best alternative to a negotiated agreement). It’s about deciding, in advance, what you will do if the conversation doesn’t go your way. This keeps you steady, shows you’re prepared for any outcome, and can keep emotions in check.
Read how to determine your BATNA here.
- Back it up with research
Use reliable compensation data (ideally from multiple sources) to illustrate how your request aligns with the market.
- Practice the conversation
Run through it with a trusted mentor or coach. Encourage them to ask tough questions to practice answering on the fly. Rehearsal builds clarity, confidence, and emotional control.
What if your request is denied? Let’s say you asked for the increase and you explored non-salary benefits, but still got the no. What next?
- Stay composed. Keep your executive presence intact.
- Ask for clarity. Seek a specific explanation, and do it with curiosity—not defensiveness.
- Take space if needed. A line like “Thanks for the transparency—I’d like to think this over and circle back tomorrow” works well.
- Revisit your BATNA. What options did you establish beforehand?
- Request a future review. If the timing is wrong, ask when and how to revisit the conversation.
- Reflect on long-term fit. If your compensation isn’t aligned with your contribution—or won’t be—it may be time to reassess.
Advocating for a raise isn’t just about money. It’s about clarity, confidence, and leadership. Whether the answer you get is yes, not now, or no, each conversation helps define the path ahead – both for you, and the organization.
Approach it with preparation, self-respect, and curiosity. At the executive level, how you ask is as important as what you ask for. The more intentional you are, the more powerful and sustainable your success will be.
If you’re done waiting for permission to own your value—let’s co-create your next bold move.
