If you remember life before the internet, you’ve seen how much larger the world has become. Social media and instant communication now connect us globally. Anyone with Wi-Fi can access humanity’s knowledge in seconds.
Yet this connected world can leave people feeling insignificant, overwhelmed and powerless. The CDC reports that 1 in 5 adults experiences depression. It’s no wonder. Endless content, trolls, deepfakes, bots and AI-driven noise can drown people in despair. Financial obstacles, global instability and a challenging job market have led many to feel like life is happening to them rather than being shaped by them.
Whether you’re Gen Z, a Millennial, Gen X or a Boomer, you may feel as though you’re just surviving, trapped in a cycle where your destiny feels out of reach.
The cycle of no destiny control
When you’re in control of your life, you move with purpose. You set goals, plan your path and maintain a hopeful, forward-looking mindset. But when you’re stuck, you lose that clarity. Even if you have a plan, it’s hard to stay focused amid distractions and a world that suggests your efforts won’t make a difference.
This cycle often leads to something experts call learned helplessness — a belief that nothing you do will change your circumstances. To escape this cycle, you must be able to recognize it, avoid it and transform yourself to break free. Without that transformation, even the best efforts to take control of your destiny will likely fall short.
To truly lead your life, you need both a plan and hope. One without the other leaves you exposed to chance. No plan and no hope? No chance.
Based on my experience, most people who struggle with destiny control fall into one of three categories:
1. The Flywheel Hamster
Fake Plan, Fake Hope
On paper, this person appears to have a plan. But their goals aren’t truly theirs. They’re based on what others expect or what they think they should do. As a result, their plan lacks authenticity and passion, and they can’t sustain the motivation to follow through. Even if they act, they lack direction.
They spin their wheels, always busy but never moving forward — like a hamster running in place on a wheel. Because they appear to be “doing something,” they trick themselves into thinking they’re progressing. When they hit frustration, they revise their plan — again and again — keeping the illusion alive without addressing the root cause: a lack of authentic goals and a lack of belief in their own potential.
2. The Floating Dandelion
No Plan, Misguided Hope
This person has no concrete plan at all. They avoid setting goals because doing so feels like a risk — if they fail, it means they’re a failure. So they drift.
They rely on luck, peer influence, media trends or family tradition to guide them. They chase whatever sounds good or seems easier in the moment. They move frequently from one idea to another — not because of strategic reflection, but because they’re constantly reacting to external forces.
Like a dandelion seed blown in the wind, they end up somewhere, but it’s a destination of chance, not choice.
3. The Head-in-the-Sand Ostrich
No Hope, So No Plan
This person may have a plan, or they may not. But none of it matters, because they don’t believe in the possibility of success. They’re paralyzed by fear, disillusionment or apathy. They say things like “It doesn’t matter what I do” or “Everything is stacked against me.”
So they do nothing. They keep their heads down, avoid action and hope for a miracle — a lightning strike of luck to rescue them. They dream of winning the lottery but don’t buy a ticket. They convince themselves that by not acting, they’re being “safe,” but in truth, they’re surrendering their destiny.
Ironically, by refusing to act, they reinforce their belief that nothing will change. Their inaction becomes proof that progress is impossible. Like an ostrich hiding its head in the sand, they miss the fact that the world is moving on without them.
Transformation is the way out
Without real, personal transformation, people tend to bounce between these categories. They may cycle from drifting like a dandelion, to frantically running like a hamster, to eventually hiding like an ostrich. But they never fully escape the loop.
The key to destiny control lies in transforming one’s mindset, beliefs and actions to develop assured belief, which is the combination of an authentic plan with authentic hope. Your destiny is not preordained or set in stone. It’s the result of your daily choices, reactions and direction. It’s not fate — it’s agency.
Think of your life like a long-term stock chart. There will be ups and downs, but with leadership and consistency, the overall trajectory can trend upward. You don’t need a perfect plan, but you do need a real one — and the hope to act on it.
Whether you’re leading a team, raising a family or working any kind of job, you must see yourself as the leader of your life. Your destiny depends on it.
Opinions expressed by SmartBrief contributors are their own.
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