The fear of irrelevance: An epidemic among female leaders

In partnership with Stanford researchers, Malu studied how female leaders experience the fear of irrelevance and what truly protects against it. What we found is urgent: in a world demanding more from leaders than ever, women are being stretched across impossible roles. Many are balancing the “sandwich generation,” caring for both children and aging parents simultaneously. At the same time, younger generations are redefining what success means. The pressure is relentless, and it leaves many women asking the quiet questions: Am I doing enough? Am I still relevant?

Beyond obsolescence: What relevance really means

Academically, “relevance” has been defined in terms of concepts such as obsolescence, retirement planning or career transitions. But our research showed something more human. For women, relevance is deeply tied to belonging and contribution to the sense that their presence, not just their output, still matters. Which raises the deeper, more vulnerable question: Is who I am enough?

The hidden toll of burnout

Deloitte reports that burnout is the top reason women leave their jobs; nearly 40% of those seeking new roles cite it as the cause. However, burnout stems from the accumulation of layered expectations to do more, give more and deliver more at work and at home. Many leaders don’t realize how long they’ve been running on empty until the cracks appear.

Our own research revealed something powerful: while job titles and life roles may change, the mindsets we carry, our quiet, inner relationship to purpose and identity, remain the compass guiding how we move through the world.

4 mindsets that shape burnout for women

We uncovered four distinct mindsets that shape how women experience relevance and burnout. It’s important to note that these mindsets are fluid and not fixed categories or traits.

1. The Tourist – Excited and eager, Tourists want to see, do and be everything. Because of this, they may not be fully aware of their “why,” or may have inherited one unquestioningly, “Of course, this is what success looks like!”
2. The Fisherwoman – Hardworking, reliable and deeply trusted. Fisherwomen often carry a subtle awareness of their inner “why,” but lack the time or space, both practically and emotionally, to explore it more deeply.
3. The Treasure Hunter – Often born from crisis. A layoff, burnout or another turning point sparks Treasure Hunters to finally search inward for what truly drives them.
4. The Scuba Diver – Highly skilled and self-aware. Scuba Divers know their primary responsibility is to themselves, not a company. They prioritize alignment between their “what” and “why,” and lead from that grounded place.

These mindsets reveal how women approach change differently. What matters most is not fitting into a category but recognizing your current depth and making intentional choices to pursue deeper alignment with yourself.

This is why we created Malu Journey, to give women space to reflect on where they are in this continuum and realign.

Why alignment matters

When women chase definitions of success that aren’t their own, like saying yes when they mean no, living by others’ expectations, they face three risks:

• Fear of irrelevance, because worth is measured by shifting systems instead of being rooted in unique contribution
• Burnout, because energy goes to things that don’t give energy back
• Weakened resilience, because setbacks feel personal instead of purposeful.

The path forward isn’t about eliminating fear or burnout; these are natural responses to pressure. Instead, it’s about building deeper alignment so that relevance is cultivated internally, rather than being determined externally.

Alignment begins with small, intentional acts: pausing to ask, “What feels true for me right now?” setting a boundary that protects your energy or choosing opportunities that reflect purpose rather than chasing visibility. Over time, these shifts build resilience and the ability to recover with clarity rather than depletion.

Why this matters for business

Organizations also carry responsibility. When systems reward overextension and undervalue authentic contribution, women remain stuck in cycles of burnout and invisibility. But workplaces that honor diverse definitions of success and create space for life transitions not only support women, but they unlock stronger leadership for everyone.

Our research with Stanford shows that women who cultivate alignment, whether they are Tourists, Fisherwomen, Treasure Hunters or Scuba Divers, hold a different relationship to fear, burnout and resilience. They are less reactive to external measures of worth, more intentional with their energy and more grounded in their ability to lead.

Why we created Malu Journey

Malu Journey is a 20-week, cohort-based program designed to bridge the gap between therapy and coaching. We blend deep emotional healing with practical tools for women navigating the fear of irrelevance, burnout or transition.

Our cohorts are intentionally small, creating a confidential community where women can reflect, reset and realign. Our approach is grounded in both psychology and leadership science, as true resilience stems from integrating the personal and professional aspects, rather than choosing between them.

The fear of irrelevance will keep thriving if women leaders measure themselves against systems built without them in mind. Malu exists to rewrite that story, so women can stop asking, “Am I enough?” and start leading from the truth that they already are.

Opinions expressed by SmartBrief contributors are their own.

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