First, let me start by stating that I am not offering advice to those who are living with mental illness. This post is offered to those of us who occasionally notice that we are feeling anxious or fearful. And those who have noticed that, in these difficult times, ‘occasional’ may actually have become a little more than sporadic.
Let’s begin with the difference between fear and anxiety.
Fear is an emotional state that arises in response to a perceived, immediate threat. The bus is heading right toward you, fear arises and your body goes into reaction mode. A number of hard-wired physiological changes automatically occur when your body is fearful. Your heart beats faster, adrenaline is released and the most reptilian part of your brain takes over the executive functioning of your brain.
All of these changes are meant to support your ability to quickly react. In those moments, we don’t want the executive functioning part of your brain to analyze the situation: maybe the bus will stop, am I really in the way?, what will actually happen if it hits me?. No…we want the reactive part of our brain and body to be focused on just one thing…MOVE! The hard-wiring does just what it was meant to do. It helps you survive when faced with a real threat to your physical well-being. This ability is hard-wired in each of us. There is no need to train for this reaction to fear.
Anxiety, on the other hand, is often a response to an anticipated threat to our well-being. It can be to your physical, mental or emotional well-being. For example, ‘I just know that I am going to do a mediocre job at today’s meeting. And then I may as well give up on getting that promotion.’ All of the same physiological effects that occur when you are experiencing fear can occur when you are experiencing anxiety. But, the body does not need it to physically react to the immediate threat (avoid the bus) and so all the extra cortisol and hormones, and the hijacking of the executive functioning of your brain takes a toll in the moment. You feel your heart beating or your muscles tensing, you react rather than respond, and your thoughts may be so busy worrying about the story you are telling yourselves that there is little room for your best thinking in the moment. And, when the anxiety becomes common or prolonged, it can cause physical and psychological damage.
Thankfully, the answer to that question is ‘yes’!
First and foremost, notice when thoughts are arising that may or may not be true. Notice the anxious thoughts. There is no need to push them away, just notice that they ‘may or may not be true’. For example, notice the thought that assumes how you will perform at the upcoming meeting. And just hold that thought with some spaciousness by acknowledging that it ‘may or may not be true’. That is enough.
Second, pay attention to any sensations that arise along with the thoughts. Do you notice your neck muscles tightening, butterflies in your stomach, or a racing heart? If so, use those body sensations to help understand what is happening. You might say to yourself ‘this is anxiety, this is what anxiety feels like for me’. This noticing and naming brings the executive functioning part of your brain back into the picture which is what you need to be responsive rather than reactive.
Finally, take a few intentional breaths and ask yourself what one small step you need to take right now to meet this moment with self-compassion and clarity. Be kind to yourself and recognize that working to interrupt the anxious thoughts and resulting reactivity in that moment is often the key to seeing a new way to meet the challenges of everyday life.
